G'day Eric,

I am 25 year old white male who was brought up in a middle class family. My foray into addiction begins as follows.

I was always intrigued with drugs from a very early age. I began drinking young, but found that I didn't enjoy it, so I quickly turned to what I consider a very soft drug: marijuana. Ahhhhhh! How I love ganja! Here I was totally in my element. I quickly rose through the ranks from casual smoker to dealing, moving over a pound in any given 24 hour period.

I had by now left high school (I graduated in the top 5 percent of my class), and decided to go to the university to study law. It was at Uni that I progressed from mull (ganja) to smack. First it was acid, then I.V. speed. Almost all of my friends at Uni (a group of 15) were now using intravenously. These were all kids who came from good backgrounds and were of high intelligence. Why did we all cross that thin line? Well here is my theory....

The time and place. We were in a town called Newcastle in 1990. Australia was in one of the worst recessions since the stock market crashes. Youth unemployement was at its highest ever, hovering around 42%. These factors contibuted to a very disenchanted youth. The outbreak of the Gulf War and the massive reactions of the west to defend their oilfields proved to me only that capitalism had gone mad.

In the face of all this we were sheltered by academia. As long as we were at Uni it didn't matter that there were no jobs. It didn't matter that the world was going to hell in a handbasket. Just as long as we were broadening our minds. I changed my degree to arts, which was much more agreeable than the tedious readings required for law. Heroin began to look more and more attractive.

The first time I ever used was at age 19. My flatmate brought half a gram from Sydney to Newcastle with the intention of selling it. We used all of it in one night. I was then introduced to a friend's father who had been a junkie all of his life. He showed us how to hit up doctors for scrips. With the right story you could get a doctor to prescribe anything from morphine sulphate, dilaudinum, physeptone (pills that contain 10mg of methadone), to oxycodone. Here was a gold mine that would have made William Burroughs envious. There are a still a few croakers we see occasionly.

When I read that you were regulated by the D.E.A I almost wept! - and doctors as well - HOW FUCKED!!

A couple of years passed and I had a huge habit. I was dealing to support myself. I had dropped out of Uni as my grades got worse, due mainly to the fact that I never showed for lectures, and when I did I was on the nod. My dealing brought me under the ever vigilant eye of the corrupt police force of New South Wales. I was raided by 12 detectives who pulled my house apart looking for heroin. Luckily for me I had none in the house so they left, after stealing my personal hashish (about seven gramms).

Things got steadily worse, I started using more and more and all of my relationships began to suffer. It was around late 1994 that I was arrested trying to shoot up in a public toilet. I decided to try to clean up, and admitted myself into a long term rehab programme. After 10 months of milking cows and brainwashing from the 12 steps, I was released back on the streets. I relapsed almost straight away by going to see old friends. The only way I could see to stabilize was to go on a methadone programme, and I have now been on methadone for almost 3 years.

I have managed to drop my dose to 7.5mg. In a week it will be 5mg, then 2.5mg, then I stop all together. Why? Because I want to go overseas to Nepal in early March. Although international travel is permitted for methadone patients I personally couldn't be bothered by all the red tape and hassle at customs, plus methadone maintenance hasn't been all that sucessfull in my case. I still use occasionally and probably always will.

It is in these last stages of methadone detox that I have to be very carefull I don't get a habit again. All of my focus is on my trip to Nepal and getting well before I go so I can truly enjoy the Himalayas.

I've managed to get myself a well paying job doing what I enjoy: playing with computers. I am currently trying to write a novel, but progress is very slow. Somehow I feel a strange affinity with you, so let us know how things are going in that crazy country of yours.

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